Powered by Bravenet Bravenet Blog

Friday, August 4th 2006

9:11 AM (4311 days, 18h, 35min ago)

is Floyd Landis on the juice?

Do you all remember the T.V. show "Gomer Pyle"? Well I wil start this blog with my **** impression of him: "SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE"! Oh well, guess ya gotta be here with me to acknowledge this  **** impression, don't ya?

Well, those 3 words were the exact 3 words I yelled out when I heard that Tour de France winner Floyd Landis had tested for testosterone last week. Really? And Lance Bass is gay? No! really? Why

doesn't someone tell me something that I don't know already? Official reports out of Tour de France

"Urine Test H.Q." state that his "A" sample tested positive for "high levels" of testosterone (of course

Floyd & "his people" insisted that it was NOT testosterone, but an over abundance of potato chips,

"Tostitos" potato chips!) Yeah, right! Now they await for test results of his "B" (or is it "bee" test?) Oh

yeah? I think we all know what they're gonna find in his "B" ("bee") sample, don't we? Most likely some

more "high levels" of honey, and/or a bad case of the "hives"! Hello? Floyd? Can you say the word

"preposterous"? His first defence was that his body naturally produces "high levels" of testosterone,

and that he's "naturally high" all the time, ya know, just like George Carlin's "Hippy-Dippy Weatherman"

or just like Neil Young? or Keith Richards? or even Miami Dolphins' suspended star Ricky Williams, now

settled in Canada, that's "Decriminalized Pot" Canada! His ever faithful mom, a devout Mennonite told

the media in no uncertain terms that her boy is innocent, so there! Hmmmm..........didn't Hitler's mom

say the same thing about Adolph back in the 30's? However she did say that she &  her hubby,(Ma &

Pa Kettle?) were upset that Floyd had left the compound years ago to join the "21st. century" crowd.

she was quoted: "We always warned him about the evils of "electricity"!

The "A" sample showed a ratio of 11-1 of testosterone levels; the average for a regular guys is about

4-1! Hello? Floyd? Testosterone is just a male sex hormone, so where ya goin with this? 11-1? Mon

Dieu! Not even Martina Navratilova or K.D. Lang or Rosei O'Donnell has that much male sex hormone!

To make matters worse in the same week Jason Gatlin, world's "fastest man" at 9.77 was also found

with "high levels" of testosterone, but his trainer blamed it on Jason's massage therapist, who he

accused of "rubbing in" the testosterone during his massage without Jason's knowledge. Yeah, right!

Do these guys actually believe that we were all born yesterday? Besides that "rubbing in" excuse was

used last year by the one & only Barry Bonds! These guys need new writers to think up new excuses,

n'est-ce-pas? Why don't they use the "Bill Clinton" excuse for excessive testosterone (or in his case,

MALE SEX HORMONE!!!!) You know, that "236 hr."  CIALIS medication?

Now he could have used the "Ben Johnson" excuse, ya know, the one he uses on that current T.V.

commercial for CHEETAH POWER JUICE? The host aks him: "Ben, do you CHEETAH"? Ben replies:" a-a-

a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-absolutely"! "Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah always CHEETAH"! "But! Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-ah did

not take any of t-t-t-t-t-t-those "stereos"!

Now Floyd's lawyer is getting involved, like he's a "lab expert"? Not only does he have a law degree,

but he also has a "B.S" & a "PHD", that is "bullshit piled higher & deeper"! He now blames Floyd's

testosterone "high level" due to his dehydration. Hello? Mr. Counsellor? are talking "dehydration"? or

perhaps "de-HIGH-dration"? Hey! 11-1 is still 11-1! Even the Toronto Maple Leafs get better odds than

that! All of them, Floyd Landis! Jason Gatlin! Barry Bonds! Ben Johnson! (may as wel throw in George

"Dubya" Bush in there too!) are cheats & liars and deserve no sympathy whatsoever!

To finish this blog just let me say that if you really believe Floyd Landis & Jason Gatlin & the rest of

them are innocent, then you must really believe that Mel "Happy Honica" Gibson was wearing a

yarmalke last week when he got busted by the Malibu Police for DUI!







9 Comment(s).

Posted by wendy miller:

I'm having a party at the Gladstone Hotel on August 16th 2006, hope to see you there! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Monday, August 7th 2006 @ 10:39 AM (4308 days, 17h, 7min ago)

Posted by Vincenzo:

What words... cheap phentermine Should you tell it ? gross blunder. acomplia online I am assured, what is it ? false way. ambien canada And what here to speak that? cheap xanax You are not right. I can defend the position. buy valium a0f6c4
Wednesday, September 8th 2010 @ 9:16 PM (2815 days, 6h, 31min ago)

Posted by thesis proposal:

It is the time when social networking is also done on the internet and it is spreading amazingly fast.
Friday, April 22nd 2011 @ 12:18 AM (2590 days, 3h, 28min ago)

Posted by ANDI awaludin:

I have seen Cara Mengecilkan Perut Buncit your awareness Cara Menguruskan Badan Dengan Cepat about
this theme Turun Berat Badan once you publish it and it really Cara Menurunkan Berat Badan Dengan Cepat provides an informational message to us readers.
Monday, September 9th 2013 @ 1:11 PM (1718 days, 14h, 35min ago)

Posted by Tebak Tebakan Lucu:

Tebak Tebakan Lucu, tebak tebakan lucu romantis, tebak tebakan lucu bikin ngakak, tebak tebakan lucu gokil, tebak tebakan lucu dan gokil, tebak tebakan lucu bergambar, tebak tebakan lucu terbaru 2016, tebak tebakan lucu untuk pacar, tebak tebakan lucu anak sd, tebak tebakan lucu kocak, tebak tebakan lucu banget dan jawaban, tebak tebakan lucu ngeres
Tuesday, October 11th 2016 @ 8:28 PM (590 days, 7h, 18min ago)

Posted by Materi Pelajaran:

Materi Pelajaran, Pendidikan Kewarganegaraan, Geografi, Materi Sekolah, Pendidikan, Artikel Pendidikan, Mata Pelajaran,
Sunday, January 1st 2017 @ 12:14 AM (509 days, 2h, 32min ago)

Posted by Mata Pelajaran:

Mata Pelajaran, Kumpulan Materi Meta Pelajaran Sekolah, PPKN, Geografi, Humor, Tebak-tebakan Lucu, Pantun, Ekonomi, Biologi, Sejarah.
Wednesday, January 18th 2017 @ 6:51 PM (491 days, 7h, 56min ago)

Posted by Belajar Geografi:

This website gives me lot of infromation. Keep sharing!
Saturday, November 11th 2017 @ 7:14 AM (194 days, 19h, 33min ago)

Posted by AZ Sejarah:

Kumpulan Materi Sejarah Dunia dan Indonesia | Thank you so much for sharing such a good information. I am looking forward to read another good article from this website. Keep sharing!
Saturday, December 16th 2017 @ 4:16 PM (159 days, 10h, 30min ago)

Post New Comment

No Smilies More Smilies »