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Sunday, September 10th 2006

7:50 PM (4027 days, 4h, 41min ago)

IXNAY ON ROGERS/MLSEL AMALGAMATION! FROM THE HOSER NATION!

READ ALL ABOUT IT! READ ALL ABOUT IT! THIS JUST IN: ROGERS CABLE, ROGERS INTERNET,

ROGERS WIRELESS, ROGERS TELEPHONES (LAND LINES) ROGERS MOVIES RENTALS, ROGERS THIS,

ROGERS THAT, ROGERS "EVERYTHING" IN CONJUNCTION  WITH MLSEL (TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS,

TORONTO RAPTORS, TORONTO MARLIES, LEAFS TV, RAPTORS TV, TORONTO F.C. SOCCER CLUB,

AIR CANADA CENTRE, MAPLE LEAF SQUARE CONDOS (CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION AND 90%

SOLD OUT!) AND,  OF COURSE, THE ONTARIO TEACHERS PENSION FUND HAVE JUST ANNOUNCED

THAT THEY NOW JOINTLY OWN 51% OF "THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE", FORMERLY KNOWN AS

THE CITY OF TORONTO. DETAILS & FILM AT 11:00!

 

 

RIGHT NOW, A STATEMENT FROM THE LATE "MR. FRED ROGERS", DIRECT FROM THAT "HAPPY"

NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE SKY: "HI THERE, BOYS  & GIRLS, MOMS & DADS, AND HOW ARE YOU

TODAY"? "SURE, AH KNEW THAT YOU WERE JUST FINE". "NOW WOULD YA LIKE TO SING TOGETHER

WITH MR. ROGERS"? "SURE, LET'S DO IT: "IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE ROGERS/MLSEL NEIGHBOR-

HOOD, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE BEAUTY WOOD, WON'T YOU BE MINE? WON'T YOU BE MINE?

WON 'T YA BE MY NEIGHBOR"? "VERY GOOD, BOYS & GIRLS, MOMS & DADS, NOW I HAVE TO ASK THE

MOMS & DADS A QUESTION": CAN YOU SAY THE WORD GREED? CAN YOU SAY THE WORD GOUGE"?

"SURE, AH KNEW YA COULD, CAUSE ALL THE MOMS & THE DADS IN THE BEAUTIFUL PROVINCE OF

OF ONTARI-ARI-ARI-ARI-ARI-O ARE SOON GONNA BE PAYING THROUGH THE NOSE FOR THIS NICE

AMALGAMATION". "BET YA YOU'RE NOT SO SURE IF IT'S STILL A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBOR-

HOOD NOW, ARE YOU"? "GUESS  YA ALL KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT HOGTOWN NOW, DON'T YA"?

"SURE! AND THAT IS THE LAST "SURE"!

 

 

THE WORD ON THE SREET IS THAT ROGERS EVERYTHING & MLSEL ARE TEAMING UP TO "HEIST" AN

NFL FRANCHISE, MOST LIKELY THE BUFFALO BILLS AND SHIP THEM ACROSS THE BORDER INTO THE

"NEW" $800-900M STADIUM THEY EXPECT VARIOUS LEVELS OF GOV'T. TO PAY FOR. YA FIGURE THEY

HAVE ENOUGH NERVE TO ASK FOR  HELP FROM THE ALBERTA HERITAGE FUND? EN FRANCAIS? YEAH,

RIGHT! YA SEE THE CURRENT SKY DOME (OOPS! IT'S THE ROGERS CENTRE NOW, SORRY TED!) HAS

ONLY 56,000 SEATS FOR FOOTBALL, AND THE NFL REQUIRES MINIMUM OF 65,000. ALTOGETHER

NOW, "AAAAWWWWWW! OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! OOOOOOOUUUUUUUU"! (CUE IN A COUPLE OF

C & W SAD SONGS, WILL YA?)

 

 

LOOKS LIKE THE "POINT MAN", PROF. NFL LOBBYIST PAUL "OUR MAN" GODFREY NOW HAS THE

THOSE EVER-ELUSIVE "OPM" BUCKS ("OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY") TO START THE OFFICIAL GREASING

OF THE PALMS (I.E. "NFL PALMS") FORBES CANADA ESTIMATES THAT ROGERS EVERYTHING AND

MLSEL HAVE ABOUT $7-8B (CAN.) BETWEEN THEM (NOT INCL. ONTARIO TEACHERS PENSION FUND)

THAT OF COURSE IS, GIVE OR TAKE A HUNDRED MIL OR SO. $7-8 B (CAN.)? HMMMMM......THAT'S

PROBABLY ENOUGH TO COVER "DUBYA'S" MONTHLY NUT IN IRAQ? OKAY, WITH THE EXCHANGE,

MAYBE ABOUT 3 WEEKS. YA SEE? IT AIN'T THAT MUCH; IT'S THE $PIRIT THAT COUNTS. YEAH, THAT'S

IT, THE $PIRIT!

 

 

THESE 2 WONDERFUL CORPORATE CITIZENS WANT IT ALL! THEY WANT A STANLEY CUP RIGHT NOW,

AND IF THEY CAN'T GET IT (EDITOR'S NOTE: LAST ONE WAS IN 1967!) THEY WILL SIMPLY BUY THE

ENTIRE NHL, OKAY? CAPICHE? THEY ALSO WANT THEIR NFL FRANCHISE & SUPER BOWL CHAMP.

WITHIN 2 YRS. OF THE OFFICIAL HIJACK. DITTO THE WORLD SERIES CHAMP. EVERY OTHER YEAR.

(OH, BY THE WAY DID I MENTION THAT ROGERS EVERYTHING ALSO OWNS THE BLUE JAYS AND THE

SPORTSNET CHANNEL?) AND! DON'T FORGET THE NBA TITLE, THE CALDER CUP, & THE NEW MLS

SOCCER BOOT TROPHY, EH? THEY WOULD BE INTERESTED IN THE MEMORIAL CUP TOO, BUT CHL

MAJOR JR. HOCKEY WILL JUST NOT SELL HERE IN THE "CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE". SORRY, CHAR-

LIE!

 

 

UHHHH.......FOLKS, HAVE YA NOTICED THAT THERE'S NO GREY CUP IN THAT MIX? HMMMM..........

WONDER WHAT THEY'RE PLANNING TO DO WITH OUR ARGOS? OUR CFL? "OUR GAME"? DO THEY

KNOW THAT OUR GREY CUP GAME DRAWS OVER 5M VIEWERS EVERY YEAR? AS COMPARED TO

MAYBE 3.5-4M FOR THE SUPER BOWL? BESIDES OUR ARGOS JUST SIGNED A 15 YR. LEASE DEAL AT

THE SKY DOME, OOPS! I MEAN THE ROGERS CENTRE. DOES THAT MEAN AN EVICTION IF THEY GET

THEIR ILLICIT FRANCHISE IN A COUPLE OF YRS.? TALK ABOUT CARPET-BAGGERS! CORP. CARPET-

BAGGERS! MAYBE WE (ALL 5M OF US!) SHOULD SEND THEM A MESSAGE VIA A MUSIC LYRIC FROM

"OKE FROM MUSKOKEE"? "WHEN YOU'RE RUNNIN DOWN OUR COUNTRY & OUR CFL GAME YOU'RE

WALKIN ON THE FIGHTIN SIDE OF ME.........."

 

 

EVER WONDER WHAT KIND OF REACTION ROGERS EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE IF JUST A SMALL

PERCENTAGE OF HIS CABLE/INTERNET/WIRELESS/MOVIE RENTALS/ETC.....DECIDED TO CANCEL

ALL OF HIS ABOVE SERVICES? HMMMMM..........LET'S SAY, ABOUT 25% OF HIS CUSTOMERS WHO

ARE CFL FANS? THERE IS VIABLE COMPETITION OUT THERE, YOU KNOW. PERSONALLY MY CABLE

BILL IS OVER $100 A MONTH (YES, I NEED THE MOVIE CHANNEL FOR MY TONY SOPRANO/"PAULIE

WALNUTS" FIX FOR 13 WEEKS.......EVERY 3-4 YRS.!) REMEMBER GUYS, THE SATELLITE OPTION IS

STILL OUT THERE! AND LIKE, DON'T FORGET THOSE ILLEGAL DISHES, EH? YA THINK THESE GUYS

WILL TAKE ME SERIOUS WHEN THEY READ THIS? THEY BETTER, EH?

 

AM I TALKIN BOYCOTT HERE? YES I AM! I'M ALSO AWARE THAT THE CHARTER MEMBERS OF THE

LEAF NATION WILL NEVER! EVER! BOYCOTT THE LEAFS & THEIR OVER-PRICED PRODUCT ON THE

ICE. BUT IF THERE ARE ANY TRUE CFL FANS AMONGST THEM, AND I SUSPECT THERE ARE MILLIONS

OF THEM ACROSS CANADA, I WOULD ASK THEM TO SHOW SOME SUPPORT FOR OUR GAME, OKAY?

 

 

AND ANOTHER THING, WHO SAYS THOSE RABID BUFFALO BILLS' FANS WILL STAY QUIET WHEN

THEIR TEAM IS RIPPED OFF & RE-LOCATED TO THE GREAT WHITE NORTH? WHY, THEY'LL INVADE US

ONCE AGAIN, LIKE IN 1812, THIS TIME VIA VIAGRA FALLS, FROM THE "CAN." SIDE OF THE FALLS I

BET. HATH NO FURY LIKE A BILLS FAN SCORNED!

 

 

IF OUR CAN. NFL AFFECIONADOS LOVE THEIR PRODUCT SO MUCH ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS TO

SUSCRIBE TO YET ANOTHER ROGERS EVERYTHING PRODUCT, APTLY CALLED "THE ROGERS NFL

COMPLETE/COMPLETE PACKAGE". THAT INCLUDES EVERY SINGLE NFL GAME BEING PLAYED ON A

SUNDAY AFTERNOON, SUNDAY NIGHT, MONDAY NIGHT, & THE ODD THURS. NIGHT. SO ONCE AGAIN

ROGERS EVERYTHING & MLSEL, (YOU TOO, ONTARIO TEACHERS PENSION FUND BEAN COUNTERS!)

WE CHARTER MEMBERS OF THE HOSER NATION WARN YOU, IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS: DO NOT! WE

REPEAT! DO NOT! DO NOT MESS WITH OUR CFL, EH?

 

5 Comment(s) / Post Comment

Sunday, September 10th 2006

7:50 PM (4027 days, 4h, 41min ago)

IXNAY ON ROGERS/MLSEL AMALGAMATION! FROM THE HOSER NATION!

READ ALL ABOUT IT! READ ALL ABOUT IT! THIS JUST IN: ROGERS CABLE, ROGERS INTERNET,

ROGERS WIRELESS, ROGERS TELEPHONES (LAND LINES) ROGERS MOVIES RENTALS, ROGERS THIS,

ROGERS THAT, ROGERS "EVERYTHING" IN CONJUNCTION  WITH MLSEL (TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS,

TORONTO RAPTORS, TORONTO MARLIES, LEAFS TV, RAPTORS TV, TORONTO F.C. SOCCER CLUB,

AIR CANADA CENTRE, MAPLE LEAF SQUARE CONDOS (CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION AND 90%

SOLD OUT!) AND,  OF COURSE, THE ONTARIO TEACHERS PENSION FUND HAVE JUST ANNOUNCED

THAT THEY NOW JOINTLY OWN 51% OF "THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE", FORMERLY KNOWN AS

THE CITY OF TORONTO. DETAILS & FILM AT 11:00!

 

 

RIGHT NOW, A STATEMENT FROM THE LATE "MR. FRED ROGERS", DIRECT FROM THAT "HAPPY"

NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE SKY: "HI THERE, BOYS  & GIRLS, MOMS & DADS, AND HOW ARE YOU

TODAY"? "SURE, AH KNEW THAT YOU WERE JUST FINE". "NOW WOULD YA LIKE TO SING TOGETHER

WITH MR. ROGERS"? "SURE, LET'S DO IT: "IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE ROGERS/MLSEL NEIGHBOR-

HOOD, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE BEAUTY WOOD, WON'T YOU BE MINE? WON'T YOU BE MINE?

WON 'T YA BE MY NEIGHBOR"? "VERY GOOD, BOYS & GIRLS, MOMS & DADS, NOW I HAVE TO ASK THE

MOMS & DADS A QUESTION": CAN YOU SAY THE WORD GREED? CAN YOU SAY THE WORD GOUGE"?

"SURE, AH KNEW YA COULD, CAUSE ALL THE MOMS & THE DADS IN THE BEAUTIFUL PROVINCE OF

OF ONTARI-ARI-ARI-ARI-ARI-O ARE SOON GONNA BE PAYING THROUGH THE NOSE FOR THIS NICE

AMALGAMATION". "BET YA YOU'RE NOT SO SURE IF IT'S STILL A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBOR-

HOOD NOW, ARE YOU"? "GUESS  YA ALL KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT HOGTOWN NOW, DON'T YA"?

"SURE! AND THAT IS THE LAST "SURE"!

 

 

THE WORD ON THE SREET IS THAT ROGERS EVERYTHING & MLSEL ARE TEAMING UP TO "HEIST" AN

NFL FRANCHISE, MOST LIKELY THE BUFFALO BILLS AND SHIP THEM ACROSS THE BORDER INTO THE

"NEW" $800-900M STADIUM THEY EXPECT VARIOUS LEVELS OF GOV'T. TO PAY FOR. YA FIGURE THEY

HAVE ENOUGH NERVE TO ASK FOR  HELP FROM THE ALBERTA HERITAGE FUND? EN FRANCAIS? YEAH,

RIGHT! YA SEE THE CURRENT SKY DOME (OOPS! IT'S THE ROGERS CENTRE NOW, SORRY TED!) HAS

ONLY 56,000 SEATS FOR FOOTBALL, AND THE NFL REQUIRES MINIMUM OF 65,000. ALTOGETHER

NOW, "AAAAWWWWWW! OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! OOOOOOOUUUUUUUU"! (CUE IN A COUPLE OF

C & W SAD SONGS, WILL YA?)

 

 

LOOKS LIKE THE "POINT MAN", PROF. NFL LOBBYIST PAUL "OUR MAN" GODFREY NOW HAS THE

THOSE EVER-ELUSIVE "OPM" BUCKS ("OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY") TO START THE OFFICIAL GREASING

OF THE PALMS (I.E. "NFL PALMS") FORBES CANADA ESTIMATES THAT ROGERS EVERYTHING AND

MLSEL HAVE ABOUT $7-8B (CAN.) BETWEEN THEM (NOT INCL. ONTARIO TEACHERS PENSION FUND)

THAT OF COURSE IS, GIVE OR TAKE A HUNDRED MIL OR SO. $7-8 B (CAN.)? HMMMMM......THAT'S

PROBABLY ENOUGH TO COVER "DUBYA'S" MONTHLY NUT IN IRAQ? OKAY, WITH THE EXCHANGE,

MAYBE ABOUT 3 WEEKS. YA SEE? IT AIN'T THAT MUCH; IT'S THE $PIRIT THAT COUNTS. YEAH, THAT'S

IT, THE $PIRIT!

 

 

THESE 2 WONDERFUL CORPORATE CITIZENS WANT IT ALL! THEY WANT A STANLEY CUP RIGHT NOW,

AND IF THEY CAN'T GET IT (EDITOR'S NOTE: LAST ONE WAS IN 1967!) THEY WILL SIMPLY BUY THE

ENTIRE NHL, OKAY? CAPICHE? THEY ALSO WANT THEIR NFL FRANCHISE & SUPER BOWL CHAMP.

WITHIN 2 YRS. OF THE OFFICIAL HIJACK. DITTO THE WORLD SERIES CHAMP. EVERY OTHER YEAR.

(OH, BY THE WAY DID I MENTION THAT ROGERS EVERYTHING ALSO OWNS THE BLUE JAYS AND THE

SPORTSNET CHANNEL?) AND! DON'T FORGET THE NBA TITLE, THE CALDER CUP, & THE NEW MLS

SOCCER BOOT TROPHY, EH? THEY WOULD BE INTERESTED IN THE MEMORIAL CUP TOO, BUT CHL

MAJOR JR. HOCKEY WILL JUST NOT SELL HERE IN THE "CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE". SORRY, CHAR-

LIE!

 

 

UHHHH.......FOLKS, HAVE YA NOTICED THAT THERE'S NO GREY CUP IN THAT MIX? HMMMM..........

WONDER WHAT THEY'RE PLANNING TO DO WITH OUR ARGOS? OUR CFL? "OUR GAME"? DO THEY

KNOW THAT OUR GREY CUP GAME DRAWS OVER 5M VIEWERS EVERY YEAR? AS COMPARED TO

MAYBE 3.5-4M FOR THE SUPER BOWL? BESIDES OUR ARGOS JUST SIGNED A 15 YR. LEASE DEAL AT

THE SKY DOME, OOPS! I MEAN THE ROGERS CENTRE. DOES THAT MEAN AN EVICTION IF THEY GET

THEIR ILLICIT FRANCHISE IN A COUPLE OF YRS.? TALK ABOUT CARPET-BAGGERS! CORP. CARPET-

BAGGERS! MAYBE WE (ALL 5M OF US!) SHOULD SEND THEM A MESSAGE VIA A MUSIC LYRIC FROM

"OKE FROM MUSKOKEE"? "WHEN YOU'RE RUNNIN DOWN OUR COUNTRY & OUR CFL GAME YOU'RE

WALKIN ON THE FIGHTIN SIDE OF ME.........."

 

 

EVER WONDER WHAT KIND OF REACTION ROGERS EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE IF JUST A SMALL

PERCENTAGE OF HIS CABLE/INTERNET/WIRELESS/MOVIE RENTALS/ETC.....DECIDED TO CANCEL

ALL OF HIS ABOVE SERVICES? HMMMMM..........LET'S SAY, ABOUT 25% OF HIS CUSTOMERS WHO

ARE CFL FANS? THERE IS VIABLE COMPETITION OUT THERE, YOU KNOW. PERSONALLY MY CABLE

BILL IS OVER $100 A MONTH (YES, I NEED THE MOVIE CHANNEL FOR MY TONY SOPRANO/"PAULIE

WALNUTS" FIX FOR 13 WEEKS.......EVERY 3-4 YRS.!) REMEMBER GUYS, THE SATELLITE OPTION IS

STILL OUT THERE! AND LIKE, DON'T FORGET THOSE ILLEGAL DISHES, EH? YA THINK THESE GUYS

WILL TAKE ME SERIOUS WHEN THEY READ THIS? THEY BETTER, EH?

 

AM I TALKIN BOYCOTT HERE? YES I AM! I'M ALSO AWARE THAT THE CHARTER MEMBERS OF THE

LEAF NATION WILL NEVER! EVER! BOYCOTT THE LEAFS & THEIR OVER-PRICED PRODUCT ON THE

ICE. BUT IF THERE ARE ANY TRUE CFL FANS AMONGST THEM, AND I SUSPECT THERE ARE MILLIONS

OF THEM ACROSS CANADA, I WOULD ASK THEM TO SHOW SOME SUPPORT FOR OUR GAME, OKAY?

 

 

AND ANOTHER THING, WHO SAYS THOSE RABID BUFFALO BILLS' FANS WILL STAY QUIET WHEN

THEIR TEAM IS RIPPED OFF & RE-LOCATED TO THE GREAT WHITE NORTH? WHY, THEY'LL INVADE US

ONCE AGAIN, LIKE IN 1812, THIS TIME VIA VIAGRA FALLS, FROM THE "CAN." SIDE OF THE FALLS I

BET. HATH NO FURY LIKE A BILLS FAN SCORNED!

 

 

IF OUR CAN. NFL AFFECIONADOS LOVE THEIR PRODUCT SO MUCH ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS TO

SUSCRIBE TO YET ANOTHER ROGERS EVERYTHING PRODUCT, APTLY CALLED "THE ROGERS NFL

COMPLETE/COMPLETE PACKAGE". THAT INCLUDES EVERY SINGLE NFL GAME BEING PLAYED ON A

SUNDAY AFTERNOON, SUNDAY NIGHT, MONDAY NIGHT, & THE ODD THURS. NIGHT. SO ONCE AGAIN

ROGERS EVERYTHING & MLSEL, (YOU TOO, ONTARIO TEACHERS PENSION FUND BEAN COUNTERS!)

WE CHARTER MEMBERS OF THE HOSER NATION WARN YOU, IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS: DO NOT! WE

REPEAT! DO NOT! DO NOT MESS WITH OUR CFL, EH?

 

6 Comment(s) / Post Comment

Sunday, September 10th 2006

6:07 PM (4027 days, 6h, 24min ago)

5 Comment(s) / Post Comment

Sunday, September 10th 2006

6:07 PM (4027 days, 6h, 24min ago)

1 Comment(s) / Post Comment

Monday, August 28th 2006

7:53 AM (4040 days, 16h, 38min ago)

"TAKE ME OUT TO THE BRAWL GAME"!

"LLLLLLLLLLLETS GET RRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRUMBLE"!! YA KNOW WHAT THAT IS? NO, YOU'RE

WRONG, "EVERLAST BREATH"! IT IS NOT BOXING FROM VEGAS, IT'S TORONTO BLUE JAY

"BASEBRAWL"! LIVE & IN LIVING COLOR FROM THE BLUE JAY TUNNEL/DUGOUT! IN THIS CORNER

THE MANAGER, (DEFINITELY!) FROM ONE OF THE "RED" STATES THAT VOTED FOR "DUBYA" (TWICE)

WEIGHING IN AT 220 LBS. (CAN.) AND, ON HIS LAST LEGS AS BLUE JAY MGR., & CURRENT CHAMP

OF THE ROGERS CENTRE, IN THE FAR CORNEROF THE TUNNEL/DUGOUT, JOHN "CINDERELLA MAN"

 GIBBONS! HIS OPPONENT TONIGHT, FROM ONE OF THE "WHINER" STATES, WEIGHING IN AT 190

LBS. "SOAKING DRY", THE PITCHER, TED "TIGER" LILLY! AND THE REFEREE TONIGHT, FROM

"BASTIN", MASS. MR. "MONEY BALL" HIMSELF, (OR IS THAT "PHONEY BALL"?) THE G.M. OF THE

TORONTO BLUE JAYS, J.P. RICCARDI! OR AS THEY CALL HIM AT THE CHEERS BAR, J.P. "DOUBLE

RICCARDI & COKE"!

 

THE PRELIMS TO THE ACTUAL BOUT TOOK PLACE AT THE PITCHER'S MOUND WHEN MGR. "SMOKIN

JOE" JOHN GIBBONS WENT THERE TO PULL "LIVERED" LILLY FOR ALLOWING 5-6 RUNS IN APPROX.

2 INNINGS! NOW I DON'T WANNA SAY THAT THERE WAS FOUL  LANGUAGE OUT THERE ON THE

MOUND, BUT IF YOU HAD A BIT OF "LIP READING" TRAINING YOU COULD HAVE RECOGNIZED

LEGENDARY COMIC GEORGE CARLIN'S "207" WORDS YOU CAN'T SAY ON TELEVISION ROUTINE!

 

ACTUALLY MGR. JOHN "MACHO CAMACHO" GIBBONS WAS LUCKY THAT "FILLY" LILLY DIDN'T HIT

HIM IN THE RIGHT CHEEK; HE WOULD'VE "DROWNED" FROM THAT CONSTANT "CHAW" JUICE! BUT,

ALAS, IT WAS NICE TO SEE THEM MAKE UP AFTER THE INCIDENT. THEY BOTH "BURIED THE

HATCHETT"...............IN EACH OTHER'S HEAD!

 

HOWEVER CAMERAS CAUGHT SOME BLOOD FROM "BONECRUSHER" GIBBONS' NOSE, BUT ONLY

THE CAMERAS FROM THE OAKLAND A'S T.V. COVERAGE, NOT THE BLUE JAYS' ROGERS SPORTSNET

CAMERAS. THEY MIGHT'VE SHOWED A LBIT OF THE BLOOD IN THEIR HI-LITES, BUT THE BLOOD

WAS IN B & W.

 

THEN THE REAL HI-LITE OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN "IRON MIKE" GIBBONS STARTED TO DO HIS

POETRY: " FLOAT LIKE A BLUE JAY, STING LIKE A STING LIKE A STING RAY, YOUR FASTBALL WILL

NEVER BE WHAT YOUR STINKER SINKER CAN'T SEE"! "AH AM THE GREATEST"! THEN HE RAN OUT

INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD AND STARTED YELLING: "ADRIENNE1 ADRIENNE! ADREINNE"!

AH YES, "BALBOA BREATH", YOU COULDA BIN A CONTENDA"!

 

AFTER THE GAME "HIS KNOW IT ALL NESS" G.M. J.P. "NO MAS" RICCARDI STATED THAT THE

MANAGER'S JOB WAS NOT IN JEOPARDY, AND THAT THERE WERE AT LEAST 10-12 "CLUBS' LINED

UP TO TAKE HIM IF THE JAYS DUMPED HIM. UHHH.........10-12 "CLUBS"? YEAH, RIGHT! HOW BOUT

THE HELL'S ANGELS "CLUB"? HOW BOUT THE OUTLAWS "CLUB"? HOW BOUT THE BANDIDOS "CLUB"?

PERSONALLY I'LL LAY YA 6-5 ON A 2-4 OF 6% CAN. BEER THAT HE'LL BE OUTA HERE FASTER THAN

PLUTO WAS OUTA THE SOLAR SYSTEM!

 

A LOT OF THE REAL BLUE JAY FANS ARE SUGGESTING THAT THE G.M. "RICKY RICARDO" RICCARDI

GET THE BOOT ALONG WITH PRES./CEO PAUL "THE FLIM-FLAM/TEFLON MAN" GODFREY. CAN YOU

SAY "TAR & FEATHER"? i'D REPLACE THEM BOTH WITH LARRY THE CABLE GUY, THAT IS, LARRY,

"THE ROGERS CABLE" GUY! LET'S FIRE THEM ALL & BRING IN A "PROFESSIONAL" MGMT. TEAM.

YEAH, RIGHT! THE MAPLE LEAFS' MGMT. TEAM! YA KNOW IF PARAMOUNT STUDIOS CAN DUMP

TOM CRUISE FOR STEALING THAT "MECHANICAL BABY SURI" FROM THE PROPS DEPT., THEN THOSE

3 AFORE-MENTIONED FAILURES CAN START SCOURING THE MAJOR LEAGUE WANT ADS IN ABOUT

3 WEEKS!

 

BLUE JAY FANS CAN ALSO BLAME THE G.M. ('GENERAL MAYHEM"?) FOR PRODUCING A HORRIBLE

FARM STYSTEM; WE'VE SEEN BETTER PROSPECTS ON THE "PEPPERIDGE FARM" TEAM! WE'VE SEEN

BETTER PROSPECTS ON "JIMMY DEAN'S FARM"! HOWEVER THE MGR. JOHN "DE LA HOOOOOOOYA"

GIBBONS JUST MIGHT HAVE A RESERVATION FOR THE JAYS' "FUNNY FARM" IN VERY NEAR FUTURE.

 

ON THE OTHER HAND THEY SAY THAT ANY PUBLICITY IS GOOD PUBLICITY, SO THIS JUST MIGHT BE

GOOD FOR THE BLUE JAYS IN THE LONG RUN. ALL MAJOR U.S. T.V. NETWORKS RAN WITH THE

HI-LITES, SHOWING THEM CONSTANTLY FOR THE PAST WEEK. WHY EVEN SPORTSNET'S CAN.

COMPETITION TSN RAN THEM ON RUSS ANBER'S BOXING SHOW! RUMOURS ARE ABOUND THAT

"THE CHAMP" GEORGE CHUVALO WILL BE INVITED TO NEXT YEAR'S SPRING TRAINING CAMP IN FLA.

TO GIVE THEM TIPS IN "THE SWEET SCIENCE"! TIE DOMI WOULD GO TOO, BUT HE WANTS $2.5M

ON A 2 YR. DEAL! BYE-BYE, TIE-TIE!

 

OF COURSE THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER EXAMPLES OF TEAMS FIGHTING AMONGST EACH OTHER;

THE BLUE JAYS' OWN FORMER MGR. CITO GASTON & PITCHER DAVID "TUB OF GOO" WELLS BACK

IN 92. THE TEAM FINED WELLS $1,000 & ORDERED HIM TO FILL UP THE BEER FRIDGE AT THE HOME

GAMES FOR A WEEK.

 

AND HOW CAN WE FORGET THE INIMITABLE LATE BILY MARTIN OF THE YANKEES WHO WOULD

FIGHT WITH ANYBODY, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE! REGGIE JACKSON! HIS BOSS GEORGE STEINBRENNER!

MARSHMALLOW SALESMEN AT LAST CALL! BILLY'S PMS WAS NOT CONTROLLABLE BACK IN THOSE

DAYS! ONLY WOMEN COULD GO INTO A DRUGSTORE & PURCHASE MIDOLS BACK THEN! UNFORTU-

NATELY HIS "GREENIES" INTAKE ONLY MADE IT WORSE!

 

THEN THERE WAS THE MINN. VIKINGS NFL FOOTBALL TEAM FROM LAST YEAR! REMEMBER THEIR

INFAMOUS CHARTERED BOAT CRUISE? THE PLAYERS WERE BRAWLING WITH EACH OTHER OVER

THE AFFECTIONS OF THE INVITED HOOKERS & LAP DANCERS! SING ALONG WITH ME FOLKS, WILL

YA? "OUUUUUU WEE, OUUUUUU WEE BABY, OUUUUUUUU WEE, OUUUUUUU WEE BABY, WON'T YA

LET ME TAKE YOU ON A SEA CRUISE"? (NOW IF I WERE DOING THIS BIT IN A NIGHT CLUB, I'D USE

"SEMEN CRUISE" INSTEAD OF "SEA CRUISE". GUESS I COULDN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS IN A BLOG,

OR...........COULD I? HMMMM.........)

 

CLOSER TO HOME HERE IN THE "CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE" THE MAPLE LEAFS' MGMT. IS CONSTANT-

LY FIGHTING EACH OTHER OVER THE BILLIONS & BILLIONS OF THEIR SWAG REVENUE. SOMETIMES

OVER PETTY ISSUES ALSO, LIKE STANLEY CUP PARADE ROUTES, AND THE COST OF A 12 OZ. DRAFT

BEER AT A LEAFS/RAPTORS GAME. SOME DIRECTORS WANT TO LEAVE IT AT $12.50, BUT OTHERS

WANT TO RAISE IT TO $17.50! HAVE YOU EVER QUAFFED AN ACC DRAFT BEER AT A LEAFS/RAPTOR

GAME? PUT IT THIS WAY: THERE'S MORE "BEER" IN MY BODY ON TAP 1/3 BEER SHAMPOO!

 

AND DON'T FORGET THOSE "PUGILISTIC" HABS AT LE CENTRE  BELL (BELL CENTRE) IN MONTREAL

FIGHTING EACH OTHER (WITH? OR WITHOUT THEIR "HELMETS" ON? HMMMM.........) OVER THEIR

POST-GAME MEALS OF LA POUTINE, "OT" DOGS STEAMEE, LES PATATES FRITES, LES "AMBURGERS",

THEIR JOS. LOUIS/MAE WEST PETIT CAKES, AND OF COURSE "UNLIMITED" MOLSON "HEX"! BY THE

 WAY DID YOUKNOW THAT THERE IS NO MOLSON CANADIAN SOLD IN QUEBEC? ONLY MOLSON

"EX-CANADIAN" AVAILABLE! (UHHH........YA MIGHT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT ONE, FOLKS. BUT

UNFORTUNATELY YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET THAT ONE ON YOUR OWN, YA SEE, WE CAN'T SHOW

SLIDES ON A BLOG)

 

NOW IF YA WANT SOME REAL AUTHENTIC FIGHTING, BICKERING, CURSING & SWEARING & GENERAL

MAYHEM JUST TUNE IN TO DAILY QUESTION PERIOD FROM THE HOUSE OF COMMONS. IT'S ALMOST

AS BAD AS THE CAN. LEGIONS ON THE "15TH. & 30TH" OF EACH MONTH! WAIT A MINUTE! NOT TO

DIGRESS, BUT DOES QUESTION PERIOD QUALIFY AS A "SPORTING EVENT"? HMMMM...................

 

DIRECT FROM THE BLUE JAYS' TUNNEL/DUGOUT FRACAS AREA, THIS IS YOUR HONEST BLOGMEISTER

"FRENCHIE" McFARLANE. GOOD NIGHT, GOOD LUCK, J.P. RICCARDI IS A SCHMUCK, AND THAT'S THE

 WAY IT IS!

 

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Friday, August 4th 2006

9:11 AM (4064 days, 15h, 20min ago)

is Floyd Landis on the juice?

Do you all remember the T.V. show "Gomer Pyle"? Well I wil start this blog with my **** impression of him: "SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE"! Oh well, guess ya gotta be here with me to acknowledge this  **** impression, don't ya?

Well, those 3 words were the exact 3 words I yelled out when I heard that Tour de France winner Floyd Landis had tested for testosterone last week. Really? And Lance Bass is gay? No! really? Why

doesn't someone tell me something that I don't know already? Official reports out of Tour de France

"Urine Test H.Q." state that his "A" sample tested positive for "high levels" of testosterone (of course

Floyd & "his people" insisted that it was NOT testosterone, but an over abundance of potato chips,

"Tostitos" potato chips!) Yeah, right! Now they await for test results of his "B" (or is it "bee" test?) Oh

yeah? I think we all know what they're gonna find in his "B" ("bee") sample, don't we? Most likely some

more "high levels" of honey, and/or a bad case of the "hives"! Hello? Floyd? Can you say the word

"preposterous"? His first defence was that his body naturally produces "high levels" of testosterone,

and that he's "naturally high" all the time, ya know, just like George Carlin's "Hippy-Dippy Weatherman"

or just like Neil Young? or Keith Richards? or even Miami Dolphins' suspended star Ricky Williams, now

settled in Canada, that's "Decriminalized Pot" Canada! His ever faithful mom, a devout Mennonite told

the media in no uncertain terms that her boy is innocent, so there! Hmmmm..........didn't Hitler's mom

say the same thing about Adolph back in the 30's? However she did say that she &  her hubby,(Ma &

Pa Kettle?) were upset that Floyd had left the compound years ago to join the "21st. century" crowd.

she was quoted: "We always warned him about the evils of "electricity"!

The "A" sample showed a ratio of 11-1 of testosterone levels; the average for a regular guys is about

4-1! Hello? Floyd? Testosterone is just a male sex hormone, so where ya goin with this? 11-1? Mon

Dieu! Not even Martina Navratilova or K.D. Lang or Rosei O'Donnell has that much male sex hormone!

To make matters worse in the same week Jason Gatlin, world's "fastest man" at 9.77 was also found

with "high levels" of testosterone, but his trainer blamed it on Jason's massage therapist, who he

accused of "rubbing in" the testosterone during his massage without Jason's knowledge. Yeah, right!

Do these guys actually believe that we were all born yesterday? Besides that "rubbing in" excuse was

used last year by the one & only Barry Bonds! These guys need new writers to think up new excuses,

n'est-ce-pas? Why don't they use the "Bill Clinton" excuse for excessive testosterone (or in his case,

MALE SEX HORMONE!!!!) You know, that "236 hr."  CIALIS medication?

Now he could have used the "Ben Johnson" excuse, ya know, the one he uses on that current T.V.

commercial for CHEETAH POWER JUICE? The host aks him: "Ben, do you CHEETAH"? Ben replies:" a-a-

a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-absolutely"! "Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah always CHEETAH"! "But! Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-ah did

not take any of t-t-t-t-t-t-those "stereos"!

Now Floyd's lawyer is getting involved, like he's a "lab expert"? Not only does he have a law degree,

but he also has a "B.S" & a "PHD", that is "bullshit piled higher & deeper"! He now blames Floyd's

testosterone "high level" due to his dehydration. Hello? Mr. Counsellor? are talking "dehydration"? or

perhaps "de-HIGH-dration"? Hey! 11-1 is still 11-1! Even the Toronto Maple Leafs get better odds than

that! All of them, Floyd Landis! Jason Gatlin! Barry Bonds! Ben Johnson! (may as wel throw in George

"Dubya" Bush in there too!) are cheats & liars and deserve no sympathy whatsoever!

To finish this blog just let me say that if you really believe Floyd Landis & Jason Gatlin & the rest of

them are innocent, then you must really believe that Mel "Happy Honica" Gibson was wearing a

yarmalke last week when he got busted by the Malibu Police for DUI!

     

 

 

 

 

  

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Friday, August 4th 2006

7:28 AM (4064 days, 17h, 3min ago)

test

testing
12 Comment(s) / Post Comment

Friday, August 4th 2006

7:28 AM (4064 days, 17h, 3min ago)

test

testing
0 Comment(s) / Post Comment

Monday, June 19th 2006

11:07 AM (4110 days, 13h, 24min ago)

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